Whoo Hoo! Football is back! It has been such a long drought. I’m sooo elated that it is football season that I can’t even think of a single rant for this first week, Guess I’ll just have to go right into the predictions.
Sure hope you all have a morbid curiosity because your gonna whitness some train wrecks this week.
Chitown VRS Brew Crew.
First thing I need to say is Brew Crew…you gotta dump that gay Trojan and get yourself a real avatar. We can’t go a whole season looking at that winking condom. I found the perfect avitar for you. Do the league a favor and use it.
Sure hope you all have a morbid curiosity because your gonna whitness some train wrecks this week.
Chitown VRS Brew Crew.
First thing I need to say is Brew Crew…you gotta dump that gay Trojan and get yourself a real avatar. We can’t go a whole season looking at that winking condom. I found the perfect avitar for you. Do the league a favor and use it.
Almost 1/4 of Chitowns projected points come from Drew Brees. Go figure. He’s up against lowly Detroit this week. Get used to this folks. Anyone matched up against Detroit is going to be projected sky high. I wonder how long it will be before the Lions ever get a win. Any bets folks?
Chitown is looking good at WR and defense but her running backs aint blowing nothing up the Trojans skirt. Now the Brew Crew looks great at RB and his WR’s are OK but his D is a bunch of scrubs. Eagles D. Are you kidding me? And what is Palmer doing as your starting QB? Do you actually believe all the hype on this guy? I don’t buy it for a minute.
Prediction: Brew Crew, your keg is tapped and it’s blowing nothing but foam. Chitown is winning this by double digits.
Gougers VRS Da Boozers
What the hell Boozers? Two San Fran WR’s???? You been hitting that hill country hooch or what? Turf Toe T.O.? HA! He’s gonna be a bust this year with his hurt toe and that bum of a QB throwing to him. Ray Rice as a running back? You kidding me? Baltimore was undecided on starting running backs the entire 2008 season. What makes you think they have a clue this year? I wouldn’t put a Ravens RB in my line up if you paid me. All you have going for you is Portis and Manning (the right Manning). You know dude you really shouldn’t be panning between fantasy football and porn while doing a live draft. It’s hard to make good decisions when all that blood is flowing to the head. You are so screwed this year Bud but at least you stuck with that killer team name.
Now don’t shoot your load just yet Gougers. Your just a one week wonder due to the match ups this particular week. Yeah Rivers will have a good game against Oakland but only because that Raiders D is lousy. Don’t think for a minute that Rivers will put up points but a couple times this year. Roddy White will have a great game against Miami. Duh! Brandon Jocobs will get goal line TD or two off Washington but that big tree trunk will go down with injuries early in the season and be dead weight on your roster. That Baltimore D will score good this week only because they are up against KC. Sorry to say it Bubba but you will have a stellar week one but it goes down hill fast after that.
Prediction: Gougers will win this by at least 7 points.
OxyMorons VRS Eagles 44 …whatever!
What a couple dumb ass team names! Guys, if that is all the imagination you have I gotta tell you, it’s going to be a long year. Especially you Opie. I can’t even bring myself to recognizing that name. I’m just gonna call this as I see it. Morons VRS Birdbrains.
Ochocinco! Are you serious? I guess Birbrains is appropriate after all because Arron Rogers throws plenty of ducks. Just look at your roster, the rest of them are a bunch of pigeons. Your goose is cooked Daffy Duck!
Now, look at your competition Birdbrains. Tom Brady, Roy Williams, Pierre Thomas and a full complement of defensive killers. Now that is how you draft. Need I say more?
Prediction: The Morons win this one by double digits. That means a goose egg for you Birdbrain. Get used to seeing that big 0 in the win column because it’s going to be there for a while Tweety.
Dallas Demons VRS The Deadly Poopflingers.
Anita warned me that you could sling it Lou so I guess that is an appropriate name for your team. Come to think of it your QB choice is just as appropriate for that name. Shaub is gonna be slinging crap all over the field this year. I gotta hand it to you though. You do have some good studs. Randy Moss, Eddie Royal and Jones Drew are all good choices. Edwards could be if he put super glue on his finger tips. That guy couldn’t catch the clap from a 5 dollar whore. And Beanie Wells? Who the hell is that? Beanie? Who would give their kid a stupid name like Beanie? GOOD GOD! What the hell is this world coming too?
Demons have a stellar RB line up. Felix Jones is going to light it up this year.
DeAngelo Williams is going to rack up the big time yards and TD’s again this year. Mark my words folks. I think the Demons could kick every ones butt with those 2 running backs alone.
This is one match up I thing the Yahoo projections screwed up big time.
Prediction: Demons win this by 7.
Last But Not Least LBNL) VRS The Maulers
Now who the hell would draft Eli Manning in the first round? Pete, Pete, Pete, what am I going to do with you Bud? You could have easily picked up that wannabe QB in the 5th round or latter. You did do well by picking up Marion the Barbarion and Steve Smith but they wont be enough to carry you to victory. You better keep a close eye out for replacements because your gonna need ‘em.
Maulers appears to have had a good draft. Too bad 1/2 of his studs will go down early in the season with injuries. Warner, Colston, Berrian and Gates are all injury prone and / or prune eating old farts. The Maullers will start out hot but it wont last long. I predict by week 5 the Maullers will be desperate to pick up any available scrub and he will remain number 12 on the waiver wire all year.
Prediction: Maullers win this one by double digits.
Brown Count Blues VRS my Texas Twisters.
Blues is going with McNabb as his QB. Strike one. Then he has a Detroit WR and a Detroit RB. Strike two! Lee Evans as another WR. FOUL! Jets defense? Strike three and your outta there!
Tony Romo will be on fire against Tampa. Steve Slaton, Lendale White and Lance More. These three guys alone will out score your whole roster. Butter that ass dude cause your toast.
Prediction: Twisters win this by 9
Chitown is looking good at WR and defense but her running backs aint blowing nothing up the Trojans skirt. Now the Brew Crew looks great at RB and his WR’s are OK but his D is a bunch of scrubs. Eagles D. Are you kidding me? And what is Palmer doing as your starting QB? Do you actually believe all the hype on this guy? I don’t buy it for a minute.
Prediction: Brew Crew, your keg is tapped and it’s blowing nothing but foam. Chitown is winning this by double digits.
Gougers VRS Da Boozers
What the hell Boozers? Two San Fran WR’s???? You been hitting that hill country hooch or what? Turf Toe T.O.? HA! He’s gonna be a bust this year with his hurt toe and that bum of a QB throwing to him. Ray Rice as a running back? You kidding me? Baltimore was undecided on starting running backs the entire 2008 season. What makes you think they have a clue this year? I wouldn’t put a Ravens RB in my line up if you paid me. All you have going for you is Portis and Manning (the right Manning). You know dude you really shouldn’t be panning between fantasy football and porn while doing a live draft. It’s hard to make good decisions when all that blood is flowing to the head. You are so screwed this year Bud but at least you stuck with that killer team name.
Now don’t shoot your load just yet Gougers. Your just a one week wonder due to the match ups this particular week. Yeah Rivers will have a good game against Oakland but only because that Raiders D is lousy. Don’t think for a minute that Rivers will put up points but a couple times this year. Roddy White will have a great game against Miami. Duh! Brandon Jocobs will get goal line TD or two off Washington but that big tree trunk will go down with injuries early in the season and be dead weight on your roster. That Baltimore D will score good this week only because they are up against KC. Sorry to say it Bubba but you will have a stellar week one but it goes down hill fast after that.
Prediction: Gougers will win this by at least 7 points.
OxyMorons VRS Eagles 44 …whatever!
What a couple dumb ass team names! Guys, if that is all the imagination you have I gotta tell you, it’s going to be a long year. Especially you Opie. I can’t even bring myself to recognizing that name. I’m just gonna call this as I see it. Morons VRS Birdbrains.
Ochocinco! Are you serious? I guess Birbrains is appropriate after all because Arron Rogers throws plenty of ducks. Just look at your roster, the rest of them are a bunch of pigeons. Your goose is cooked Daffy Duck!
Now, look at your competition Birdbrains. Tom Brady, Roy Williams, Pierre Thomas and a full complement of defensive killers. Now that is how you draft. Need I say more?
Prediction: The Morons win this one by double digits. That means a goose egg for you Birdbrain. Get used to seeing that big 0 in the win column because it’s going to be there for a while Tweety.
Dallas Demons VRS The Deadly Poopflingers.
Anita warned me that you could sling it Lou so I guess that is an appropriate name for your team. Come to think of it your QB choice is just as appropriate for that name. Shaub is gonna be slinging crap all over the field this year. I gotta hand it to you though. You do have some good studs. Randy Moss, Eddie Royal and Jones Drew are all good choices. Edwards could be if he put super glue on his finger tips. That guy couldn’t catch the clap from a 5 dollar whore. And Beanie Wells? Who the hell is that? Beanie? Who would give their kid a stupid name like Beanie? GOOD GOD! What the hell is this world coming too?
Demons have a stellar RB line up. Felix Jones is going to light it up this year.
DeAngelo Williams is going to rack up the big time yards and TD’s again this year. Mark my words folks. I think the Demons could kick every ones butt with those 2 running backs alone.
This is one match up I thing the Yahoo projections screwed up big time.
Prediction: Demons win this by 7.
Last But Not Least LBNL) VRS The Maulers
Now who the hell would draft Eli Manning in the first round? Pete, Pete, Pete, what am I going to do with you Bud? You could have easily picked up that wannabe QB in the 5th round or latter. You did do well by picking up Marion the Barbarion and Steve Smith but they wont be enough to carry you to victory. You better keep a close eye out for replacements because your gonna need ‘em.
Maulers appears to have had a good draft. Too bad 1/2 of his studs will go down early in the season with injuries. Warner, Colston, Berrian and Gates are all injury prone and / or prune eating old farts. The Maullers will start out hot but it wont last long. I predict by week 5 the Maullers will be desperate to pick up any available scrub and he will remain number 12 on the waiver wire all year.
Prediction: Maullers win this one by double digits.
Brown Count Blues VRS my Texas Twisters.
Blues is going with McNabb as his QB. Strike one. Then he has a Detroit WR and a Detroit RB. Strike two! Lee Evans as another WR. FOUL! Jets defense? Strike three and your outta there!
Tony Romo will be on fire against Tampa. Steve Slaton, Lendale White and Lance More. These three guys alone will out score your whole roster. Butter that ass dude cause your toast.
Prediction: Twisters win this by 9
1 comment:
Welcome back, Timmy. I see that you and your predictions are just as "accurate" as before!
Post a Comment