Week 5 Wrap Up

Hello, everyone! We had a volunteer to take over the weekly reviews, but Pete (Brown County Blues) has been rather busy officiating weddings and such. Just to be fair, I'll include the article that he sent to me as part of this week's wrap up:

When old fellas like Kurt score other white hairs benefit. They don't jump up and down, they just smile and pump their arms and continue tweaking their team and help friends endure defeet. It also helps when Gougers turn into gentlemen and put up a bunch of zeroes.

This game usually hinges on two or three players but which two or three is the game. The 4 H's Hopheads & Homer's Crew are prime example, No surprise from Tony, but why do WR's score no points ( that's what i would like to know, as my father-in-law said while beating me 17 to 4 in horses, four points ain't nothin.

When the Maulers get mauled you know Chicago town is involed but so is the good WR's. Mrs. Commish sent the better team to the line and they lined up and tookem down the line. The Boozers woke up so I will project: Calling this in early, although the breezes could blow off the Gulf and rain on this projection. But it almost kick off time. She will be in top three of our league, just needs more points to be one. With no defensive back it appears there will be no interception of the Bo0zers win and staying atop the heap of Clowns.

Nonads keep it up and they will join the Blues, The Demons averaged out about 8 points a player. Why isn't the badder the name the hight up the league?

Some moments are longer than you think, I had hoped mine to be just another day or two, looks like another week or two as Last is in sight. My hope is my oppenent named themselves right and my time is coming. least. Plus I did not keep faith with Eli, I had him a couple years when he was up and down, not up as now.

Can't really cry the blues when I see my friends and others I don't know get so much pleasure out of feeling better off because they guessed better than others. I find it so reassuring. Sure is fun to laugh and cheer for a player on both teams or to feel like a turn coat when your favorte team looses and your fantasy team benefits.
Football kicks, punts and passes
Hot dogs, beer and cheeses gasses
so on sunday afternoon, stay seated until the room
Clears then run to the frig and get more
Hot dogs, beer and cheese
If you please.
Pete the Imposter/ Prognoster

Thanks, Pete!

In college football, there's this idea that if you pitted the mascots of each team against each other, you should be able to determine the winner based on who has the stronger mascot. If we apply that theory to fantasy football, specifically our league, how would it all shake out?

Nashville Nimrods vs. Sidehill Gougers
Thanks to the Commish's insightful article on what on God's green earth a sidehill gouger is, we now have a better understanding of what we are comparing here. If you pitted a nimrod up against a sidehill gouger, which would win? In this case, the Nimrods were successful, and without a single peep from the Gougers. (C'mon Clark, we know you've got it in you!) I've heard some odd noises on our hills on our property, and I've tried to convince my daughter that it's the errant sidehill gougers tumbling down the hill. Yeah, I know. She gave me the same look, too. I also tried to convince her that snipe hunting is an actual sport, but I think she's catching on. Gougers, you almost had the Commish on the ropes with that Minnesota DEF. They may have given up some points to New Orleans, but they got a lot of them back by being a very active and aggressive defense.

Homer's Heroes vs. Happy Hopheads
The Barley Bros. Bowl always promises to be a close game, no matter what the projections say. It also usually yields some of the best smacktalk, but I guess Hopper is too busy... hopping? Well, whatever the reason, both teams got rather mediocre performances from most of their players. Marion the Barbarian seems to have turned into a vegetarian because he ain't carryin' ... bupkus! (Hey, that was harder than it looked! What the hell rhymes with 'barbarian'??) The Trames didn't yield the lowest points of the week, but they were both 20-30 points short of their projections. Hmmm... coming up short again, huh....

Dallas Demons vs. Nonads
Ugh. This was the closest thing to a slaughter for this week. Nonads, it's time to wake up and smell the brimstone. The Demons smoked your ass, and you need to make sure that doesn't ever happen again! I mean, come on! Calvin Johnson??! My cat can catch more passes than he can! And McNabb's points will ebb and flow with the tide, so time to think about some overhauling. Demons, you're still scaring me, and not with the whole demons thing but with the whole messed-up-in-the-head-and-not-taking-my-meds thing. Though I will have to admit your team did a good job in getting you 94 points for the week. Too bad that Rivers is a pinhead!

Belmont Boozers vs. Sunday Brew Crew
This seemed more like the matchup of brothers-in-arms rather than a hostile clash. I mean, look at it - the Boozers and the Brew Crew. Do you see the theme here? We were all hoping that the Brew Crew could stop the undefeated Boozers, but no such luck. In spite of 0 points from Hasselbeck, the Boozers still scored over 100 points! He got double-digit numbers from 7 of his players. How does he do it? Is he out there bribing them with cases of top-shelf hooch? Brew Crew, your loyalty to the Buffalos is... is... great for the rest of us! And you thought you could get away with not putting in a DB and playing one man short. Doesn't it suck when your ego gets in your way?!

Brown County Blues vs. LBNLs
Pete, Pete, Pete. Oh, I meant Brown County Pete. We were all rootin' for you, and you got most of the votes in the league. But you let the Giants fan get past you. Even the dogs are singing the blues now! You had a chance because most of his venom was directed at Homer's Heroes and he was distracted. But that didn't help. Time for a new strategy, maybe a good overhaul. I see that you've started the process. LBNLs - have you picked your winning avatar yet? All of the entries have been pretty good so far. If anyone else has any suggestions to submit, please do so. LBNLs needs all the help he can get!

Southern Maulers vs. ChiTown Shysters
Whew! I'm glad that I caught the Maulers before he started his life-altering transformation into the Molesters. I caught a little grief for Houshmandzadeh, and I was worried about him, too. Woooohooooo, houz-your-mama now, Bubba! Maulers, it looks like you might get some more better performances from Peyton Manning, but he's still looking a little skittish in the pocket while under a minimal amount of pressure. I'd keep a good backup QB on hand if I were you. You almost had me with Antoine Winfield, but I'm sending out the knee-breakers so that he won't cause me problems again.

That's all for now. Good luck, everyone!