Hi All,
Welcome to the Playoffs! Wooohooooo! Some teams have gotten so worked up for the playoffs that they’ve fallen into an identity crisis. The Highway Hogz are now the Red Hot Skillet. Guess he couldn’t handle the pig jokes anymore, too close to home. But I guess it’s better to be the skillet than the bacon frying in it. The Southern Maulers are now the Pirate Maulers in reference to the Week 14 matchup with the Pirate Commish. In an attempt to match the Maulers wit, the Commish changed his team name to the Southern Nitwits. But it was just momentary change of heart. Hey, Commish, perhaps if you wore that eye patch over your other eye, things might look different. (Pirates? Nitwits? I could never understand it… it must be a guy thing.) The biggest change of all is the once fearsome Texas Twisters are now the Gridiron Goose Eggs. To quote the movie Space Balls, Timmy must feel that his team “has gone from suck to blow.”
I haven’t quite gotten used to Thursday night football yet. Coming from the generation of Monday Night Football with John Madden and Al Michaels, today’s schedules and announcers have me off kilter. I’d love to see somebody smack those ESPN announcers around a bit. Nothing too violent, just enough to get them to shut up! I’m not normally this violent, but it is morning as I’m writing this, and I haven’t had my coffee fix yet.
In spite of the change in routine, the Thursday night game was great to watch: The revival of America’s Team vs. America’s Favorite QB and The Pack. I didn’t expect Kid Romo to outdo Favre, but I also didn’t expect Favre to get hurt. The man has lived a charmed life as a QB! Week 13 also saw the emergence of the WR3 position. Guys who have been flying under the radar, like Fasano (DAL) and Gaffney (NE) suddenly look appealing if you can manage to fit them on your roster. Just when I thought I had it figured out….
The Matchups
Nitwits vs. Demons – Final Score: 101-76. Timmy the Greek predicted Nitwits by 10. He called the win correctly but the margin was a lot greater than predicted. In a last-ditch effort, the Demons got good numbers from their kicker, Nick Folk, and only an average performance from the rest of the team. The Nitwits got 11+ points from 5 starters and extended their winning streak to 7. So, tell me, who is the team to beat? Word on the “street” is that many think it’s the Nitwits. We should consult with T the Greek and see who the odds-on favorite is.
Knuckleheads vs. Boozers – Final Score: 65-71. Timmy’s prediction: Boozers by 5. Well, he couldn’t have called this one any closer. The serendipitous Boozers won by 6 and got numbers from everyone on his starting lineup. Yep, that’s right, no goose eggs. The silent Knuckleheads got almost one third of their points from their defense (SD), but it didn’t help to get a -3 from Favre. With the loss, the Knuckleheads have been eliminated from the playoffs. Hey, Thom, maybe a little smacktalk would have saved your team. OK, maybe not. Uh… hello? (tap, tap, tap) Is anyone there?
Highway Hogz (aka Red Hot Skillet) vs. Hoosierblue – Final Score: 82-57. Timmy’s prediction: Hogz by 7. Once again, the win was called correctly, but the margin was way off. (Hey Tim, that’s 3 for 3 so far! Too bad it goes downhill from here!) The “Bob Evans” Skillet got double digits from his first 4 starters, but an average return from everyone else. Hoosierblue got 15 points from Garrard but only single digits from everyone else, and negative points from Green Bay’s defense. I have to say, it was a bold move to play Green Bay’s DEF against Dallas, some might even argue that it was foolhardy. I’ll leave it to Timmy to contribute his 2 cents on that. (I can’t publicly insult the person who officiated my wedding!)
Twisters vs. Gougers – Final Score: 77-119. Twisters by ? OK, so we don’t know what the prediction on the point difference was, but we all know who Timmy was predicting to win. Yeah, Tim, we can all read between the lines. But I suggest you put down the beer can when making such predictions about your team. The Gougers scored the High Score of the Week while kicking your sorry @%! back to Texas. And the legendary sidehill gouger is just a mythical creature anyway! While Clark was stumbling his way to the loo (Smacktalk: “I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope its the bathroom.”), he pulled off a strong win. It’s tough when you get only 15 points from Brady. (Zing!)
Timmy’s Game of the Week
Maulers vs. Slackers – Final Score: 101-111. Timmy the Greek’s prediction: Maulers by 3. All I can say, Tim, is that bad karma will only yield you bad karma. Hell hath no fury like the Slackers spited. It was a close fight, even though the Slackers stepped out to a sizeable lead with the Thursday night game. The Maulers got great numbers from LT (go figure!) and some good numbers from Kurt Warner QB and Jared Allen DL. Overall, it was a pretty good return from the team as a whole considering 2 of the Maulers receivers scored only 1 pt each. Going into Monday night’s game, both teams were tied, and the Slackers had one player left to play – Stephen Gostkowski K. Whew! Saved by the mighty foot of the NE kicker!
Looking ahead to Week 14, all I can say is Good Luck, All! Demons and Knuckleheads, my condolences, however you can still watch the progress of the playoffs and vote on the matchups.
The Football Widow
