Week 16 (and Final) Review

Hi All,

I hope that everyone had a great Christmas or other seasonal/religious holiday, depending on what you celebrate. We are nothing if not diverse at the Commissioner’s Office and try to be cognizant of other beliefs, etc. Yeah, yeah, blah-blah-blah. Who am I kidding – THIS IS FOOTBALL!

If you haven’t seen all of the results by now… c’mon, wake up and smell the freakin’ coffee already! It’s been our best and most entertaining season of fantasy football. Congratulations to the Nashville Nitwits (first place), Texas Twisters (second place, you unbelievably lucky duck), and the Sidehill Gougers (third place)!

Most Improved Manager of the Year – Bob Trame (HIGHWAY HAWGZ, aka Highway Hogz, aka Red Hot Skillet). Bob-o debuted with our friends and family league in 2005. The first two years he finished in the bottom half of the league (last year 10 of 10), however this year he made a definite statement with his team. All of the many days and weeks listening to the sportstalk shows on the radio while on the road has paid off for him. This year Bob started off in first place and never looked back, holding on to the top spot for the entire season. Well done, Bob-o!

Rookie Manager of the Year – Adam Young (Belmont Boozers). Also the most coveted team name of the year, the Boozers pulled off an 8-5 season with a team consisting of faceless wonders. No one expected the Boozers to do as well as they did. Adam, you can tell ‘em all that it was because of your managerial skill. How else could you squeeze blood from a turnip? Just goes to show that the so-called marquis players don’t necessarily make the best fantasy football players.

Best Smacktalk of the Season – Clark Alkire (Sidehill Gougers). From Week 1 against the Highway Hogz: “May the fleas of 1,000 camels nest in your crotch.” I may have misquoted that, but I think you can get the gist of it.

Best Smacktalk Rivalry – The Brothers Trame (Texas Twisters and Highway Hawgz). The war that pitted brother against brother in the mid 1800’s was later named the Civil War. This UN-civil war turned out the to be some of the best entertainment of the season! Thanks, guys, and we all hope that it was all in the name of brotherly love.

Most Points Scored – Sidehill Gougers: 1181 points. Had we set up the league to be a points scoring system rather than a head-to-head scoring system, our finalists would have been:

1. Sidehill Gougers – 1181 points


2. Highway Hawgz – 1143 points


3. Nashville Nitwits – 1125 points

The Commissioner’s Office is researching some suggestions, specifically the idea that we make our league a keeper league. If you know of a site that has a keeper league that’s free and isn’t too complicated, send an email to the Commish. Also, if you have an opinion, one way or the other, on keeper leagues or seasonal leagues, or just fantasy football in general, send the Commish an email.

Thanks, everyone, for a fun season. Have a great New Year, and we’ll look for you next season.

The Football Widow

Week 15 Review

Hi All,

I don’t know about you guys but its been a brutal semi-finals week for me. Once again I made the mistake of thinking that I had it all figured out. The FF Gods are messing with my little mind, and apparently it isn’t too hard to do. Let’s take a look at how it all came tumbling down….

Can you believe that the season is almost over for our league? What will we do? Who will we talk football to on the nights when there is no game? This is a real dilemma here. I haven’t adopted the moniker of “Football Widow” for nothing. The other day I asked my husband, “what did we talk about when it wasn’t football season?” It’s a fair question, and his only response was to chuckle. (I guess I should have asked him during a commercial break – less competition from the TV screen.) Well, maybe I’ll actually get some work done when I’m in front of a computer now. And maybe I’ll even meet people in real life and make friends. You know what I mean, something like… uh… I don’t know… like getting a life. Yeah, that’s it!

In the consolation bracket, the Belmont Boozers pulled off an unprecedented act of being the only team in the league to defeat the Highway Hogz twice. Yup, the only team to do so. Adam, you can wear your badge of honor with pride. The Boozers advance to the playoff game for 5th place. Meanwhile the Hogz are licking their wounds, stunned by the recent ugly turn of events. Bob-o, all I can say is maybe you should chuck that Blackberry out the window or let the dog do its business on it. It hasn’t served you well. And if you can’t use the darn thing for fantasy football, what’s the point?!

The newly named Pirate Maulers (aka Southern Maulers, aka I-traded-Randy-Moss-and-got-hosed) defeated Hoosierblue to move on to the matchup against the Boozers. In spite of an ugly performance from the Bengals, the Maulers managed to get 11 points from Carson Palmer. (grumble, grumble… couldn’t throw anything worthwhile to Chad Johnson….) In fact, the Maulers scored the highest score of the week with 93 points. No other team scored in the 90’s, and only two teams scored in the 80’s. So maybe the Maulers didn’t need Randy Moss after all. (Yeah, right. Just like I don’t need an attitude adjustment.)

In the championship bracket, things got very interesting. Or maybe you could say it was just the same crap, different day. I say this because in the matchup between the Nashville Nitwits and the ChiTown Slackers, we ended up with yet another tie. Now, if you didn’t know what the first lock breaker was in a tie, it’s the number of touchdowns scored by the starting roster for the one week. The Nitwits and Slackers were also tied at 2 apiece. So we learned what the next lock breaker was (and there is a list of 10 altogether), the number of fantasy points scored by the starting quarterback. For the Nitwits, Jeff Garcia did an adequate job of getting 6 points. Now, I know what you’re thinking… adequate? It’s all relative. Because when you look at what the Slackers scored with Kid Romo, all you can do is laugh. AAAARRRGGGHH! Romo brought in -2. I’d like to blame the vapid blonde, because Tony was probably thinking with the wrong head at game time. But I’ll have to admit, he was due for a bad one. And last year against Philadelphia and with Carrie Underwood in the stands, he sucked the big wazoo as well. Ugh, I should have known. Ultimately, the Slackers lived up to their name, scoring a total 21 points from all of its offensive players. I don’t know about you, but those numbers are pretty offensive, if you know what I mean!

The Cinderella Story: The team that managed to “lose” its way into the playoffs has just won its way into the championship game. The Texas Twisters defeated the Sidehill Gougers, and they did it with 0 points (yes, that’s zero, zip, nada, bupkus, etc.) from Tom Brady. (Was his girlfriend at the game, too? Nah, couldn’t be. Brady didn’t get NEGATIVE points, and he was even playing outdoors, in the howling wind!) The Gougers could have made it if it weren’t for the selfless tactics of Brian Westbrook. It’s admirable to sacrifice personal glory for team glory, but GEEZ! If he’d only scored that touchdown, then Dallas would have gotten the ball back….

So the Nitwits will face the Twisters in the championship game. It’s an intriguing matchup. If you consider our regular season, the Nitwits have a 9-game winning streak going, hoping to top it off with number 10. The Twisters may have had the longest running losing streak of 6 before they got their win in the first round of the playoffs. It’s almost the same kind of luck that Forrest Gump had. My name’s Texas Twisters. People call me Texas Twisters. Oh, never mind, it doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Good luck, everyone, and I’ll catch y’all after the championship game.

The Football Widow

Week 14 Review

Hi All,

It’s been a roller-coaster week, filled with slow, nerve-twisting climbs and stomach-dropping, plummeting falls. If you haven’t caught up with everything that’s happened with our first round in our playoffs, hold on to your shorts!

For a good hour or so, I stood in shock with my jaw scraping the ground. I mean, can ya believe it?! The Token Chick with nothing to say?! On Tuesday night before the Commissioner’s Office shut down for the night, the Highway Hawgz (formerly known as the Red Hot Skillet, formerly known as the Highway Hogz) had seemingly beaten the Texas Twisters in a close game, 99-98. Both team managers were on the phone with the Commish throughout the weekend, wondering what the tie breaker might be if they should happen to tie. On Wednesday morning, we quickly learned what it was. The FF/Yahoo Gods decided to adjust some scores, and some of those were in the Twisters’ favor. And just like that, BAM, the game was tied, and then WON by the Twisters.

A moment of silence, please, to let it all sink in.

So the team that has dominated since Week 1, that finagled a quarterback when he didn’t draft one that he could rely on, that made me seriously rethink my consumption of pork products… Gentlemen, the Mighty has fallen.

My condolences, Bobbo. While we’re certainly happy to see the Twisters in the next round of the playoffs, it’s a shame to see you go. It’s not so easy to get into first place, but it’s even harder to remain in first place. Good job, Bobbo, on a season well played.

On the upside, Timmy the Greek went 4-for-4 with his predictions last week. Amazing! Maybe the voodoo curse is wearing off. Chicken bones and goat’s blood do have a limited shelf life, ya know. Or maybe it was just the new and improved varieties of mystery, direct and indirect voodoo. I’ll have to leave it to Timmy to explain.

So the Nitwits, Gougers, Twisters and Slackers advance to the next round. Pay attention to your schedules, folks, because we have games on Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. (Sheesh, he’s never gonna let me change the channel now!) For the Hawgz, Boozers, Maulers and Hoosierblue there are consolation games to be played. So, good luck, All. May your players be healthy and your teams enjoy a whammy-free zone!

The Football Widow

Week 13 Review

Hi All,

Welcome to the Playoffs! Wooohooooo! Some teams have gotten so worked up for the playoffs that they’ve fallen into an identity crisis. The Highway Hogz are now the Red Hot Skillet. Guess he couldn’t handle the pig jokes anymore, too close to home. But I guess it’s better to be the skillet than the bacon frying in it. The Southern Maulers are now the Pirate Maulers in reference to the Week 14 matchup with the Pirate Commish. In an attempt to match the Maulers wit, the Commish changed his team name to the Southern Nitwits. But it was just momentary change of heart. Hey, Commish, perhaps if you wore that eye patch over your other eye, things might look different. (Pirates? Nitwits? I could never understand it… it must be a guy thing.) The biggest change of all is the once fearsome Texas Twisters are now the Gridiron Goose Eggs. To quote the movie Space Balls, Timmy must feel that his team “has gone from suck to blow.”

I haven’t quite gotten used to Thursday night football yet. Coming from the generation of Monday Night Football with John Madden and Al Michaels, today’s schedules and announcers have me off kilter. I’d love to see somebody smack those ESPN announcers around a bit. Nothing too violent, just enough to get them to shut up! I’m not normally this violent, but it is morning as I’m writing this, and I haven’t had my coffee fix yet.

In spite of the change in routine, the Thursday night game was great to watch: The revival of America’s Team vs. America’s Favorite QB and The Pack. I didn’t expect Kid Romo to outdo Favre, but I also didn’t expect Favre to get hurt. The man has lived a charmed life as a QB! Week 13 also saw the emergence of the WR3 position. Guys who have been flying under the radar, like Fasano (DAL) and Gaffney (NE) suddenly look appealing if you can manage to fit them on your roster. Just when I thought I had it figured out….

The Matchups

Nitwits vs. Demons – Final Score: 101-76. Timmy the Greek predicted Nitwits by 10. He called the win correctly but the margin was a lot greater than predicted. In a last-ditch effort, the Demons got good numbers from their kicker, Nick Folk, and only an average performance from the rest of the team. The Nitwits got 11+ points from 5 starters and extended their winning streak to 7. So, tell me, who is the team to beat? Word on the “street” is that many think it’s the Nitwits. We should consult with T the Greek and see who the odds-on favorite is.

Knuckleheads vs. Boozers – Final Score: 65-71. Timmy’s prediction: Boozers by 5. Well, he couldn’t have called this one any closer. The serendipitous Boozers won by 6 and got numbers from everyone on his starting lineup. Yep, that’s right, no goose eggs. The silent Knuckleheads got almost one third of their points from their defense (SD), but it didn’t help to get a -3 from Favre. With the loss, the Knuckleheads have been eliminated from the playoffs. Hey, Thom, maybe a little smacktalk would have saved your team. OK, maybe not. Uh… hello? (tap, tap, tap) Is anyone there?

Highway Hogz (aka Red Hot Skillet) vs. Hoosierblue – Final Score: 82-57. Timmy’s prediction: Hogz by 7. Once again, the win was called correctly, but the margin was way off. (Hey Tim, that’s 3 for 3 so far! Too bad it goes downhill from here!) The “Bob Evans” Skillet got double digits from his first 4 starters, but an average return from everyone else. Hoosierblue got 15 points from Garrard but only single digits from everyone else, and negative points from Green Bay’s defense. I have to say, it was a bold move to play Green Bay’s DEF against Dallas, some might even argue that it was foolhardy. I’ll leave it to Timmy to contribute his 2 cents on that. (I can’t publicly insult the person who officiated my wedding!)

Twisters vs. Gougers – Final Score: 77-119. Twisters by ? OK, so we don’t know what the prediction on the point difference was, but we all know who Timmy was predicting to win. Yeah, Tim, we can all read between the lines. But I suggest you put down the beer can when making such predictions about your team. The Gougers scored the High Score of the Week while kicking your sorry @%! back to Texas. And the legendary sidehill gouger is just a mythical creature anyway! While Clark was stumbling his way to the loo (Smacktalk: “I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I hope its the bathroom.”), he pulled off a strong win. It’s tough when you get only 15 points from Brady. (Zing!)

Timmy’s Game of the Week
Maulers vs. Slackers – Final Score: 101-111. Timmy the Greek’s prediction: Maulers by 3. All I can say, Tim, is that bad karma will only yield you bad karma. Hell hath no fury like the Slackers spited. It was a close fight, even though the Slackers stepped out to a sizeable lead with the Thursday night game. The Maulers got great numbers from LT (go figure!) and some good numbers from Kurt Warner QB and Jared Allen DL. Overall, it was a pretty good return from the team as a whole considering 2 of the Maulers receivers scored only 1 pt each. Going into Monday night’s game, both teams were tied, and the Slackers had one player left to play – Stephen Gostkowski K. Whew! Saved by the mighty foot of the NE kicker!

Looking ahead to Week 14, all I can say is Good Luck, All! Demons and Knuckleheads, my condolences, however you can still watch the progress of the playoffs and vote on the matchups.

The Football Widow

Week 12 Review Correction

My apologies to the Southern Maulers. In the Wk 12 Review I stated incorrectly that they are still vying for a playoff spot. The Maulers have already clinched a spot, but the Dallas Demons have not. Sorry, Gabe. You can lay off now... no need to sweat it... you don't need to win this week, do ya?

Week 12 Review

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving holiday. It’s the one time of year that it’s okay to stuff your face. (Now I just need an excuse for the other 364 days!) I made the mistake of mentioning in front of my daughter that Tim’s daughter is the designer for his avatar. So she was determined to make over my avatar…. The things we endure for the sake of our children!

Anyway, let’s get to it! It’s been a productive week for a lot of us – 7 of the 8 playoff spots have been seeded. Congratulations to all that have clinched! The Texas Twisters, Southern Maulers and GnawBone Knuckleheads will be clamoring for the remaining spot. Good luck to all of you – I don’t envy your situation!

High Score of the Week: Belmont Boozers (100) vs. the Highway Hogz. The Boozers were successful in adding another number to the Hogz’s loss column. Wooohoooo! (Did I just whoop out loud?!) Once again, the standings tighten up with a loss at the top. Thanks, Boozers!

Low Score of the Week: The Brothers Trame tied for the un-coveted title, Highway Hogz and Texas Twisters (68). Cosmic, man!

Longest Winning Streak of the Season: The Hogz have been displaced – the new record belongs to the Nashville Nitwits with a winning streak of 6. The Nitwits have bowled their way into 2nd place and are continuing with their efforts to push the Hogz toward the slaughterhouse. Mathematically, the Hogz could slip out of first if the moon is in the 7th house… whoa, this hippy thing is getting old!

Biggest DUH of the Week: In looking back at the points the Slackers COULD HAVE scored if (1) they held on to Minnesota DEF, (2) started Chad Johnson WR, and (3) started Drew Brees QB, the final score would have been 104 instead of 76. Chad Johnson hadn’t scored a touchdown since Wk 2, and now in Wk 12 he finally decides to let it loose. Ugh. And who in their right mind would have sat down Tony Romo in favor of Drew Brees? The Football Gods are sneering at me, I’m sure.

Looking ahead: If there is anything that I can say that I’ve learned from playing FF, it’s that anything, yes ANYTHING, can happen in the NFL. Who would have thought that Philadelphia would have given New England a hard time. Philadelphia’s defense has been suspect at best, and I wouldn’t have bet that they would have made it a game. Makes me think that maybe McNabb should consider retiring! And, now that he’s done for the season, does Ricky Williams get paid for an hour of game time?

Good luck, All!
The Football Widow

Week 11 Review

Hi All!

It’s a short week, and the Commissioner’s Office is on the road for the Thanksgiving holiday. This year we’ll have not just 2 of the traditional Thanksgiving Day football games but actually 3: Washington vs. Dallas, Green Bay vs. Detroit, and Indianapolis vs. Atlanta. It’ll be hard to keep the eyes open for the evening game after turkey, potatoes, etc. But things have gotten so very competitive in these last few weeks in our league that I might not have a choice but to stay awake and pound the coffee shots to keep tabs on everything that will be happening in our league.

So now we have 2 teams that have clinched playoff spots: the Highway Hogz and the Nashville Nitwits. Look out for the Nitwits – not only have they matched the Hogz record winning streak this season (5), they are in a position to beat the record. And if you look back on the season so far, the Nitwits have actually beaten the Hogz. Hmmm, do we have a contender?

While the Nitwits are aspiring to eventually dethrone the Hogz, the rest of us are still all bunched up and running in a wolf pack. We have some obvious candidates for the alpha-male spots, but the rest of us have yet to establish a pecking order. It seems to change from week to week. And if you consider the mathematical possibilities closely enough, you could argue that some of us have also clinched playoff spots, too. The Yahoo computer only recognizes wins and will only consider points if win/loss records are tied. (It takes a little time to get the gears moving and to think my way through the possible scenarios. Thankfully the Commish has more working brain cells than I do these days!) And once we enter the playoffs, we all start at 0. The way that we all run together, you could definitely say that it will be an even playing field at that point. Ooooo, this is gonna be GOOD!

High Score of the Week: Highway Hogz and Nashville Nitwits both topped the scoreboard with 100 pts. Small wonder since these two teams have dueling WRs – both Terrell Owens and Randy Moss scored 4 TDs. FOUR! Un-freakin’-believeable!! For the Nitwits, it amounted to almost one third of the team score. Sheeesh!

Low Score of the Week: Dallas Demons (58). Sorry Demons, but your game was doomed from the coin toss. Even with the points that you left on the bench (Vince Young – 17, Larry Fitzgerald – 10, and Lawrence Mauroney – 6), you still would have lost to the Hogz. We were all rooting for you, hoping that you might have a pork BBQ going. Did you know that of all WRs. Larry Fitzgerald has scored the 4th most fantasy points in the last 3 games? Holy crap, Batman! You gotta play that guy!

Oddest Smacktalk of the Week: Texas Twisters to the Southern Maulers: “I’ll be your huckleberry.” Uh… yeah. I can only guess that this was part of some inside joke. Taken out of context it makes one wonder… huckleberry???!

Best Pickup of the Week: Dallas Demons snagged Chester Taylor (RB) and scored 25 points. Not a bad deal since Adrian Peterson could be out for several weeks. Hey Demons, you should play this guy, too!

Biggest DUH of the Week: Timmy the Greek has improved tremendously with his predictions. (There was nowhere to go but up!) But hold on a second! Tim predicted that the Slackers would defeat the Nitwits, yet he VOTED for the Nitwits. Aha! So it is true! It is the Kiss of Death to get the endorsement from Timmy the Greek! OK, Trame, what will it take to get you to put the whammy on your own team for Week 12?

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, and good luck!
The Football Widow

Week 9 Review

Hi All,

Did you enjoy Superbowl 41.5? Great game! And it's probably the first time in a long time that I've seen Peyton Manning look unlike Peyton Manning. But not to worry. Peyton always comes back strong, so Tommy-boy may be in trouble when the Colts and the Patriots meet again.

Highest Score of the Week: High Way Hogz (120.5) What was touted as the Game of the Week in our league was really no contest at all, with the Slackers putting up only 87 points in response. Well done, Hogz. Perhaps pigs can fly.

Lowest Score of the Week: Texas Twisters (70). Timmy, Timmy, Timmy. Perhaps it's time to reverse the suction on that vacuum of yours.

Best Smacktalk of the Week: Folks, we have a tie! Texas Twisters to the silent GnawBone Knuckleheads - "It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear. Don't get excited there Boners." (Did I quote that correctly?) We're seeing a new side to the Twisters... a side that we're not quite sure if we can handle. And the other winner is the Nashville Nitwits to the Southern Maulers (and indirectly to the Texas Twisters) "If I'm agoin' to lead a 2-week stampede into Texas I need to put on me best disguise." It makes a lot more sense if you look at the team's avatar.

Week 9 Predictions in Hindsight: Well, the Twisters went 1-4 on the predictions. Good thing none of us put any money on them. (You didn't, right?) Though the record doesn't look so good, I applaud you, Tim, for having the guts to stick your neck out on the line. (Is it better to quit while you're behind....)

Looking ahead: If Week 10 promises to be anything like it has started out to be so far, I'm sure to get another ulcer. Hold on here... I have an official statement from the Commissioner's office...

In the interest of maintaining League relations, the trade between the Nashville Nitwits and the ChiTown Slackers has been intentionally vetoed by the parties involved. The Commissioner does not have the power to cancel trades. Since it was causing an undue amount of stress in the league and the surrounding environment, the respective managers decided to help veto the trade.

Keep in mind, the trade deadline in our league is November 16. Make your deals now while you can!

Good luck, All!
The Football Widow

Week 8 Review

Hi All,

The lines are starting to be drawn in the sand with the changes in the standings. Week 8 forced the issue for all of us - we're not as bunched up in the middle as we were at the end of Wk 7. Yet, the Hogz remain on top. Let's take a look at what we did:

Highest Score of the Week: The ChiTown Slackers (101). This marks a season high for the Slackers, who have been hoping to get into the 3-digit range.

Lowest Score of the Week: The Dallas Demons (39). Oooo, that stings! Demons, it's time to come out of the nether region and climb your way out of hell.

Best SmackTalk of the Week: This has to go to the Trame Bowl - High Way Hogz v. Texas Twisters. I can see that the sibling rivalry brings out the worst in each of you! I laughed my freakin' butt off! Warning to everyone - don't try to get between the Brothers Trame!

Week 9 promises to be very interesting. In the real world of football, we have the 2 undefeated teams clashing in Indy on Sunday. It should be a great show - 2 of the best quarterbacks of our time on the same field. Woohooo! In the fantasy football world, the #1 and #2 teams will be going at it. Can the Slackers dethrone the Hogz? It won't be easy.... but it sure will be fun!

Best of luck, All!
The Football Widow

Week 7 Review

Was Week 7 a lucky one for you? Apparently, our league is quite competitive with a great amount of parity. The Hogz continue their hold on first place with a record of 5-2. But the rest of us aren't too far behind: 5 teams (exactly half of the league) are tied for 2nd place with records of 4-3, and 2 teams are tied for 3rd place, 2 teams tied for 4th place. So, not only do records (wins and losses) matter, now POINTS matter, making all the difference between 2nd place and 6th place.

Things will shake out for Week 8 when all the tied teams will end up playing each other. This is where we start to separate the men from the boys, so to speak. But let's take another look at Week 7.

Highest Score of the Week: Nashville Nitwits (116). The Commish claims the title this week, but the Twisters were only one point behind him. We should also note that the Commish has made the biggest turnaround so far, overhauling his team to make them more competitive. Can he repeat his stunning victory from last year?

Lowest Score of the Week: I was firmly convinced that the Slackers were going to earn this title, however the Knuckleheads fought long and hard for it. Tom claims that he was "out of touch" and lost track of his team. Hmmmm, I sure hope he does it again for Week 10.

So we've passed the midpoint of our season, and our playoffs are only 6 games away. There has been a fair amount of trading activity and the usual amount of adds and drops. We haven't seen any mind-blowing trades this week, though Derrek Anderson for Santonio Holmes does make one pause and wonder. The Hogz have finally secured a quarterback... will he stay healthy?

Looking ahead to Week 8, the Demons have emptied the lineup card, but not to worry. Their manager has noted that he IS playing the game and is merely contemplating his lineup. No death threats, please. Sometimes a man just needs to stop and think. (I know, I had a hard time writing it without chuckling, but I guess it must be true now and again.)

Best of luck, All, and remember to vote for the teams that you think will win before the start of the first game.

The Football Widow

Week 6 Review

Better late than never, they say! Week 6 was a week to remember, one for the history books. For it was the week that one semi-glorious winning streak was ended.

The High Way Hogz can no longer claim that they are undefeated. Of course, we all knew that it was just a matter of time. The Hogz still have the best record in the league, retaining that coveted first place spot at 5-1. But look out, Bob - The Holy Man of the Woods is comin' for you. Hoosierblue has steadily climbed up to 2nd place and have been soundly defeating their opponents each week with 100+ scores. Hmmm, smells like a pig roast to me....

Highest Score of the Week: As you would expect, Hoosierblue (120). Pete has quietly made some timely pickups from the waiver wire. Well done, Pete!

Lowest Score of the Week: High Way Hogz (58). The Hogz fall from grace was not pretty. With scores steadily declining each week, it was inevitable that the Hogz would not fly.

Best Smacktalk of the Week: From the Belmont Boozers to the Nashville Nitwits - "Leave my corn squeezins be." Now, taken out of context it sounds a bit odd. But before you jump to the wrong idea, the comment was made in response to the Nitwits smack about taking the Boozers whiskey.

OK. I guess you just had to be there.

There was a lot of drama for Week 6 with missing line-ups, emails throughout the league and dramatic trades. The Southern Maulers still lead the league with the most moves (adds/drops/etc.). And to make things even more interesting, the Maulers have added a new set of players to the trading block. Check it out, and make an offer if you dare. But make it a good offer - you can't let the Commish get all of the good deals!

Best of luck, All!
The Football Widow

Week 5 Review

I'm on time this week, mostly because I'm stunned. Can ya' believe it?!! One team remains undefeated in our league. One team sits alone at the top with a record of 5-0: The High Way Hogz. Even scoring the least amount of points they've ever scored (56), the Hogz have managed to survive unscathed yet another week.

Will the Knuckleheads be able to de-throne the champ in Week 6? We'll all be watching to see if the Hogz can continue their streak. If you're as superstitious as most sports fans, Hogz, you'll keep the same underwear and/or socks on that you've had on all season. (pheeewwww) Hold on, let's rethink that....

Highest Score of the Week: Hoosierblue (92). Way to go, Pete!

Lowest Score of the Week: Southern Maulers (50.5). Ouch.

Most Moves: Southern Maulers (28) with the Texas Twisters and ChiTown Slackers not too far behind (both at 25). Apparently these rosters are written in pencil, maybe even chalk, and definitely not in ink or blood.

On the Trading Block:
Donovan McNabb (QB) - Southern Maulers
Kenton Keith (RB) - ChiTown Slackers

Standings: We have 5 teams clumped in the middle with records of 2-3. This is a competitive league! I applaud all of you for starting out the season well and playing the game. Now, LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUMMMBBLLLLE!

Good luck, All!

Yours truly,
The Football Widow

Week 4 Review

With Week 4 under our belts, we can definitely see the heroes and the zeroes of the gridiron. San Diego's non-offense continues to be a mystery, the Bears are still lost in the woods, and who would have thought that the Giants' defense would get more than 11 sacks! The shake-em-up week in the NFL had its ripple effect in FFL....

Highest Score of the Week: Dallas Demons, 97. The Commish apparently brought out the best (or the devil) in the Demons, their highest score of the season so far.

Lowest Score of the Week: Texas Twisters, 56. It was the lowest score of the season for the Twisters. Hey Tim, remember to do the same the next time you play the Slackers.

Tip of the Week: One of the underutilized tools we have as FFL managers is the Trading Block. If you look, you can see that the Southern Maulers have put Donovan McNabb on the block. It's a shame to waste a perfectly good QB like that.

Rumor Mill: If you haven't gotten a call from Ocho Cinco, it's only because maybe I can't get him to pronounce your name correctly. Chad Johnson has teamed up with Degree anti-perspirant on a website where you can get Chad to call your buddy and trash talk him! It's really a pre-recorded message that you can tailor with some options, but it's a riot. Go to http://trashtalk85.com. If you vote on Johnson's checklist, Degree will donate $ to the Feed the Children charity. So have some fun and feed a hungry kid in the process.

Good luck, everyone!
The Football Widow

Week 3 Review

Hey Everyone! Before we launch Week 4, let's take a look at how we all did in Week 3:

Highest Score of the Week: Texas Twisters, 111. The Slackers made him work for it though, right until the last quarter of the last game of the week.

Lowest Score of the Week: Hoosierblue, 48. Lesson learned: Watch those injury reports. If they're not playing on the field, chances are they're not getting points in your line-up.

Best Smacktalk: Still undecided, though I have to admit I got a chuckle from The Gougers comment to "Barnacle Boy".

Rumor Mill: Word is that several managers from Texas have offered to trade for Tony Romo. The Slackers' manager will only consider Romo trade offers if they include tickets to a Cubs playoff game. If you wanna court, you better learn the sport!

Two teams still remain undefeated, The Brothers Trame - High Way Hogz and Texas Twisters. Congrats to you both, and we're all targeting you now!

Best of luck, everyone!
The Football Widow

Week 2 Review

Sorry for the delay, everyone. I was recovering from my disappointing loss to the Commissioner. Hey Commish, just remember the little people that you steamrolled on the way to the top! I'd wish him a season just like Cleveland's, as someone else once said, but he might benefit from such a wish.

Highest Points Scored Week 2: Hoosierblue (114.5). Pete, we may have to re-name you the Comeback Kid. Keep up the good work, and just remember to sit down all of your offensive players when you play the ChiTown Slackers.

Lowest Points Scored Week 2: Sidehill Gougers (67). Sorry, Clark. Perhaps it's because your avatar bears a strong resemblance to Malcolm X.

Best Smacktalk of the Week: Undecided. I see that some of you are working hard on your comments. Some of you are working a little too hard... DON'T HURT YOURSELVES!

Most Moves: Texas Twisters (14). With those chaps all twisted in a bunch, I guess it's hard to sit still. In his defense, I see a lot of activity on the transactions board. Let the musical chairs begin!

Good luck, everyone!
The Football Widow

Week 1 Review

High Score of the Week: High Way Hogz, 108 points - Well done, Bob-o. You did better in one game than you did most of last season!

Low Score of the Week: Nashville Nitwits, 47 points - Sorry, Commish. You might want to consider re-naming your team "Michigan".

Best Smacktalk of the Week: Sidehill Gougers - May the fleas of 1000 camels nest in your crotch. Hopefully Clark will find some healthy outlets for his repressed anger!

Prizes (and booby prizes) for those name above. If you have not filed your address with the Commissioner's Office, please do so now.

Good luck in Week 2, Everyone!

Final Standings 2006