Week 4 Predictions

Howdy folks.! Timmy the Greek here with your week 4 predictions. I just know all of you were wating for these insightful predictions before you made your final roster changes.

What the heck is going on here? Am I getting my predictions in before the Football Widow concludes her wrap up? Too busy Widow? Oh, that’s right now I realize what’s up. She has been thrown for a loop with that astounding trade her opponent just made. All your time has been spent trying to scramble together a team that is worthy ‘eh Shysters?

Boy oh boy what a week this was. I had to go in front of Judge Judy. To tell you the truth I thought she was going to throw the book at me. But it turns out that we managed to make a bit of a deal. One closed door session in the Judges quarters and we worked out a compromise. I always wondered what happened behind those doors and now I know. Wanna guess anyone? Let me put it this way…she is probably twice as old as most gals still standing but the old bird don’t need no tools to get the job done, if you know what I mean. And good Lord does that old bird have a set of lungs on her! Yeah, yeah, she is an ugly old biddy but she aint half a scary as that Ms Clowie once you get past the shock of going downtown on a gal wearing depends!

Yeah I know, kinda sleazy but what the hell. It kept me outa the pokey! It could have gotten twice as ugly in there! The only problem is that my performance wasn’t good enough to get her to drop the sensitivity counseling. Aint that a bitch? Couldn’t slam a gal that is damn near a century old well enough to get her to lean in my favor. Well I guess I can’t be too hard on myself. It is kinda difficult to completely satisfy a gal that has been rode for more miles that an Amtrac.

Good news is I am still in business and no sensors. Not yet anyway. Old Judgy poo says I better bring some new tricks next week to impress her or she may consider censorship. Anybody got some pointers? How about you Maulers? I just know you gotta have some experience in this field! Do you think she might find it kinky if I turned off her oxygen in mid stride? How about if I had her straddle her walker while I take the dog for a walk? Come on Gabe help me here dude! I gotta get out of the sensitivity training crap. It’s killing me man!

On to the predictions

Lets start off with….

Shysters Vrs Last but not Leasts:
Shysters are you kidding me? A San Fran QB? Oh you are in trouble girl. Because lookie here, your opponent finally got himself a real QB. Good news is that is the last we should see of Eli in our league! Pete is too stupid to drop that bum but just barely has enough upstairs to know who to put on his starting roster.
Of course that is where the advantage ends. The rest or your rosters are even. They are both lousy! Folks, here is a prime example of how bye weeks make you do stupid shit! You wont see more clowns at Ringling Brothers. Who the hell is Chansi Stuckey? What a queer name that is. Chansi! HA! And Bo Skaifi. That sound like a form of VD! You are both in trouble. I’ll bet this is the lowest combined score of the week.
If your going for pity points you got it cause this is just that. Downright pitiful.
Prediction: LBNL by 2

Boozers Vrs Blues:
Oh man, here is a good matchup. Gee wiz Blues, is there anyone on your team that aint banged up? Oh, I see Campbell isn’t but trust me he will be in that matchup with my Boys. This QB is going to take a beating. If I were you I would put Palmer in. Do you remember that shoot out that Cleveland and Cinci had last year? I think you have a good shot at that again. It’s a better call than Campbell cause he will get sacked at least 3 times and turn it over at least twice. You did make some nice moves this week. I hope they pan out for you. The good news is the Boozers have some key players banged up and he has a QB that is a bubble short of being level.
I think you guys are pretty even in WR’s. Boozers has a slight edge in RB’s. If blues puts in Palmer he has the definite edge in QB’s. Boozers has an edge in TE position but that doesn’t mean much because TE’s never rack up points unless you have a Cowboy TE. You both picked an overall defense with favorable matchups so this is a split. Blues has a decent edge on the individual defensive players. I think this is your week Blues. North, south, east west Blues cause it aint a sure thing. Say your prayers brother.
Prediction: Blues by 3
By the way Boozer. Have I ever told you that your team name is killer?

Demons Vrs Brew Crew:
Let’s see here. This one is just too close to call. I’m going with a new method for predicting this one. The bad ass evil looking avatar is going to put one hell of a pinch on the queer Trojan.
Quit winking at me Brew Crew. You make me nervous!
Prediction: Demons by 5

Nimrods Vrs Hopheads:
How the hell are the Hopheads 3-0? If he goes 4-0 that will be a real crime! This is the same kind of crap he got away with last year. This is how you piss off the fantasy football gods Bobo. I mean common! Muhammed, Meachem & Coles? How do you get points off those sluffs? Arron Rogers? Do you really think he has what it takes? Isn’t Gates a computer geek? How can Lynch & Mendenhal get yards with those pitiful O lines? I just don’t get it? But of course that wouldn’t be a first for me.
Now, the Nimrods have a respectable team. Other than that QB of course. TO is due a big week. I think Josh Reed will score a TD but Lloyd is just patch work. His backfield is strong, the TE is good and the D is killer!
Lou your due.
Prediction: Nimrods by 7

Gougers Vrs Nonads:
Boring! Watching this matchup is going to be like watching grass grow. Actually the matchup will be great but I would rather have Dennis Miller sports casting again than watch these no smack talking bums. Common guys! Spice it up! I know you got it in ya. Especially you Nonads. Since when did you become the congenial one? Your embarrassing me dude! Let loose and show your true colors. You wont offend anyone in this group.
Nonads have the advantage in QB’s. Don’t that just kill you though Steve? Your using the enemy for a QB? Life can be so unfair can’t it? You guys both have great WR’s but Gougers has a leg up with the RB’s. TE’s are a draw and so are the D’s. This one will be very close but I think the Nonads are due.
Prediction: Nonads by 2

Maulers Vrs the Heros:
Whoo Hoo! I got Barber back! Had to sell my soul and first born but the Barbarian is back on my roster this year. Your dead meat Maulers! Look at that backfield dude! McFadden & Barber. It don’t get any better than that. You might as well just bench your entire roster so you have an excuse. Gore & Bush? Gorey Bush. Kinda sounds like your typical date don’t it Gabe?
All you got going for you is Brandon Marshal and the Dallas defense. It’s like your dates always tell you Gabe “you came up short again”!
I have the rookie WR’s but they will outscore your wannabees (except for Marshal of course). My TE will spank yours and our D’s are even. One of us are going to 2 -2 and guess what? It aint you! Your toast dude. Go lick yourself!
Prediction: Heros by 5


By the way, did any of you folks watch any of the Presidential debates tonight? Didn’t it kinda remind you of that old “Whos on first” routine by Abbot & Costello?