Week 6 Wrap Up

It's a lazy Saturday afternoon, something I look forward to every week. But now I've just realized that I haven't gotten the Wrap Up done. Dangit! And now the Commish wants to compare NFL defenses, going over schedules and statistics. A football wife's job is never done.

So let's hurry up and take a look at how Week 6 went:

sidehill gougers vs. Oxymorons
It's always a remarkable thing when you can get the gougers talk a little smack. They didn't do much in person when they were here at the Commissioner's Office last weekend. Too much female interference, I suppose. Or maybe they were still in their food comas and couldn't respond to external stimuli. Whatever the case may be, their teams fought it out until the end, making the Monday night game a teeter-tooter finish. Who would have thought that Eddie Royal would return 2 kickoffs for touchdowns??! Unbelievable!! The gougers are now 5-1, moving like a steamroller. Bobbo, it's time to rethink your strategy, whatever it may be. Nowhere to go but UP from here!

Dallas Demons vs. Brown County Blues
The Demons have managed to come up with another Gothic avatar. His attempt to get all "biblical" on the BC Blues actually yielded him a win. He had a good combination with Favre and DeAngelo Williams, and even left his DL spot empty. (Either he was so arrogant that he didn't think that he needed it or he pulled the same bonehead move that I tried a couple weeks ago.) Pete, all I can is that your faith in Donovan McNabb is... is... befuddling. But there is something about your team that challenges the health of every quarterback that you own. In looking back at the history of it all, McNabb hasn't been very productive for you. He's been the gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe, the fly in your ointment, the lack of wind in your sails. But don't take your eyes off of the Blues, folks. The team can be scrappy!

Southern Maulers vs. Deadly Poopflingers
The short bus has come to an abrupt halt. Please remain in your seats, folks, because the poop is really flying now! The Maulers had a respectable score, 81 fantasy points, with a great game from Julius Peppers -- 13 points -- what a brute! But the Poopflingers racked up 117 points, 29 of which were from Matt Schaub. MATT SCHAUB??! Whaaat? How does a quarterback get that many points while on a crappy team? Perhaps we underestimated that HOU-CIN matchup. But I think I've figured out the Poopflingers secret: We're so disgusted by the team name that we've become overwhelmed with mental images of poopy diapers, animal feces hurling through the air, and manure piles. Quite repulsive, eh? See! He's gotten into our heads and used our own disgusting fears against us! We've got to stand up to him and arm ourselves with hip waders, rubber gloves and gallons of Clorox! C'mon! Whose with me?!

Belmont Boozers vs. LAST BUT NOT LEAST
So we have finally dented that cocky, bling exterior of the Boozers. He's ready to consider trade offers for T.O. in exchange for a six pack of room-temperature Schlitz. (Hey Boozers, will you consider Old Milwaukee? Bud Light? Colt 45? Billy beer?) I think it's safe to say that the man has no standards or taste buds. In spite of his horse trading (or is it just horseshit?) the Boozers managed to pull off a win against LBNL. It was an easy win, considering that LBNL managed to get only 57 points, low score of the week. All I can say is that it's a good thing that you're a homer, LBNL!

Texas Twisters vs. sunday brew crew
Timmy, you were saved by LBNL from the title of low score of the week. But you didn't do much to hold back the happy trojan from getting the better of you. (Yeah, think hard about that one!) The brew crew even left his DEF spot empty and still managed to beat the Twisters. Apparently the Dallas bye week was all the brew crew needed to defeat the Twisters. But to be honest, those Dallas players would not have helped stop this backslide that seems to be gaining momentum. Maybe if the Twisters weren't so distracted by the brew crew's winking and cheesy smile, there might have been some hope.

Eagles 44 Cowboys 6 vs. ChiTown Shmartipants
For a grown man to have such an attachment to a character from a teeny-bopper show from the 80's is truly disturbing. It's all I can say about the Eagles blah blah blah team. We haven't heard anything from this manager - it's always the quiet ones that you have to watch out for. You're never quite sure what they're REALLY thinking. I was lucky in that Brian Dawkins sat out most of the Monday night game with an injury. He was the Eagles blah blah blah's last hope. Better luck against the brew crew!

By the way, if you haven't noticed, Anquan Boldin is on the trading block. Make me an offer I can't refuse (no skunk beers, though).